Blank
by silverblood84
Summary: Blank thats all I read on her face. Thats all I saw as she said,Do you love me. I did but I couldnt break her not again, not when she had just started to mend. No I don't, I had said. And I had watched as tears fell from her face. LeexOC


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Naruto Drabbles

Title: Blank

POV: Lee

**Blank**

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Blank what a horrible word. It describes everything missing in the world. I thought as I made my way to her room. I walked slowly watching all the happy people silently. While inside I was foaming, but then I laughed I was such a fraud. At least these people really are happy, instead of wearing a mask like me.

I found myself outside the hospitals main door. I hated this place more than anything. This place took her away from me. It didn't even help to get rid of her blank face. But regardless I rather put myself in pain than not see her, so I continue through the door.

I find it depressing that every staff member in her ward knows my name. They know me so well now they always just wave me through to her room. Of course this is better; I get to avoid their questions of if she was just a teammate. Why do you come see her everyday? I use to ask myself this, but the answer was so obvious I don't make it haunt my mind anymore.

I soon find myself staring at room D 124, in the rehab corridor for people with eating disorders who just so happened to be crazy. These doctors were insane, she wasn't crazy nor did she need this place. But everyone else had insisted she needed this. What fools people who called themselves her friends didn't even have enough faith in her to get better on her own. But of course I had insisted I would be with her, just like I was now.

I pushed open the door, quickly blinded by all the white in the room. And I saw her standing by the only window in the room, wearing her regular clothes. Even in her state she still wouldn't wear any of the hospital clothes they offered. I couldn't believe she could look so put together, after staying in the same room for months on end. But I pushed this aside as I always have and walked closer. I only stopped when I stood directly to her right.

"Kanana", I say softly. Not exactly expecting her to answer, but I have hoped that someday she will respond to my voice just like she always use to. All I get though is a turn of her head, and with it I see her face. And just like I predicted it was blank no emotion written on it.

Suddenly memories came back to me of Kanana and I. Images of her smiling, of her training with a slight flush on her face, and sitting down and eating bowl after bowl of ramen with me. And then I felt like I couldn't move. How had this happened to Kanana? Then I remember an image of Kakashi's body bloodied and lifeless lying on the ground, I had watched as Kanana's face had contorted into a look of horror. I had watched as she cried by his coffin. And had done nothing until it was too late, said nothing until she was forced into rehab and therapy.

"Lee", said a soft and raspy voice, "Why are you here?" I stayed silent for a long time not moving. How long had it been since I had heard her voice? Too long I decided quickly. But before answering her I picked her hand up from her side and started to stroke it.

"Kanana the real question is what are you doing here?" I said.

She looked down her long brown bangs covering her eyes. She started to shake as she said, "I don't know."

I stared at her silently before pulling her into a tight hug and sitting my chin on her head. "Well you really need to figure that out," I said soothingly.

"Lee," she said, "I have something to tell you."

"Humm," I said in a peaceful hum.

Kanana pushed herself out of their embrace; her eyes seemed to light up again. "I've been here a long time haven't I Lee," she paused here biting her lip before continuing, "I sat and wondered why you came here to see me day after day, while everyone else gave up. And I came up with something."

"What would that be Kanana?" I said as my voice became more somber.

"Lee do you love me." She said turning her head away. She was trembling and yet smiling weakly. Her eyes were still slightly glazed, but they were slightly gleaming. I hated that I would turn them back into the coldness they once were, but anything was better than blank eyes.

I could feel her eyes on me as I didn't answer her. Did I love her? Yes I did, that's why I came here everyday just to see a silent statue. But unlike the fairy tales I read I knew this couldn't be a happy ending. We had already lost so much; I knew I could never put her back together again. I knew I would be finally pushing her over the edge. But once over I knew she could bring herself back, and become her old self.

So I took a deep breath, as I focused my eyes on her bright face. "No," I said in a shaky voice full of honesty. I watched her face crumble into a look of pain, her eyes glittering with tears as she nodded her head slowly.

I watched her silently for a long time. Watched as the blankness came back to her face I felt a stab of pain in my heart. I slowly bowed my head and made my way to the door. As I reached for the door knob I heard a small voice. "It's for the best I'm to messed up for anyone to still care about me."

I looked back at her before nodding. "Sorry," I said for the last time as I walked through the door. Her hysterical screaming started when the door clicked closed. I swallowed but continued down the hall. Watching as nurses ran into her room. I didn't look back as I exited the hospital, and I didn't start to run until I saw all the happy faces on the street.

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It's funny how I could bear to tell Kanana I didn't love her, but the thought of selling her apartment terrified me. I remember the day Tenten had suggested I sell it. I remember the aching feeling I felt when I imagined not living in the house where Kanana's presence still lived. No I had refused I would remain in the house where I could seek the most comfort, but also the most feeling of being alone.

That's where I'm at now sitting in the hallway where I can stare at her bathroom door. This is the place that has the most history strangely enough. This is the place where she had stared at herself in the mirror after her teammate Karikia had died, the place where she broke the mirror spilling glass and blood all over the floor, the place where Kakashi had saved her from cutting her wrist to deep, and the place where her blood still stains the wall a pale pink but still clearly seen against the white.

And I open the door just to see that stain on the wall. I stare at it and find myself tearing up. 'Kakashi' I have a lot to thank him for. He had introduced Kanana to me and had saved her life. What would he think of me if he could see what I had just done to her? I sigh as I close the door to the bathroom and head to the living room; I stare at a picture of him and Kanana together. Now that I think about it the picture was taken a week before he had died. In the picture Kanana looked so happy her eyes where glittering so happily, now it makes my heartache.

I quickly move to the front door and slam it shut. As I start to run down the street I know I have to do something. I have to help her somehow; I have to tell her the truth. Or I can never forgive myself.

Standing in front of the hospital I stare at the doors. I start to walk forward, but stop dead in my tracks when I see her walk out the doors. She stares at me her eyes a little lighter and her skin has more color. I gape at her my mouth hanging open as I see her walk towards me.

"Hi," she says in her usual neutral tone.

"What are you doing?" I say quickly springing forward, before someone sees her escaping.

She laughs in a hallow tone and says evenly, "They let me out Lee."

I shift slightly before saying slowly, "That's great."

She nods her head and slowly lifts her hand to touch my cheek. I lean into it rubbing my cheek against her hand. Her eyes go soft as she looks up and says, "It's all thanks to you. They said I made a break through today."

I watch her as she walks over to a bench and sits beckoning me to join her. Stumbling I excitedly flop down besides her smiling my brightest at her face. She smiles back, but turns away slowly watching cherry blossoms hit the ground and swim in the surrounding puddles.

"Kanana I need to tell you something," I say solemnly.

I watch as she shakes her head violently. Kanana turns to me tears falling down her face as she looks at me. "Lee don't do this," she whimpers, "I love you, but you don't love me. I know this but it doesn't help me." She pauses here wiping her eyes as she sniffles. Turning back to me with determination in her eyes she says, "I can deal with this I'm strong, but I need time." Kanana stands up she pauses briefly before she continues to walk away."

Watching her leave I know I'll regret this. I love her so much! 'Maybe it's for the best,' I think. Quickly standing up I know I still have to play the role of the best friend. So I call after her, "Kanana," I wait until she turns before I continue, "Your still my best friend right." I watch her smile slightly and nod. "Yosh!" I exclaim more for her benefit than mine.

As she disappears from my sight I sink back on to the bench. I cup my face in my hands and shake my head slowly trying to clear its fogginess. Feeling tears falling down my face I start to wipe them away, but its no use so I let them fall. Sadly I raise my head toward the sky and say, "I'll always love you." Then I stand and walk home hoping she will have her happy ending.


End file.
